OVERCOMING DIVORCE AND THE ILLUSION OF BEING ALONE
Batoul Khalifeh 
2022-09-26 🗀 Motherhood, 15 minutes
Why do we hang on to abusive marriages even when the abuse becomes dangerous?
Back when we once lived in caves, women owned the fire. We were the ones who remained in the cave, kept the fire going, took care of the children, cooked the food, and kept the tribe together. Having a stronger physique, The male role was to hunt, provide food, and protect the tribe from predators. Men earned their way into the fire by doing a good job of feeding us and keeping us safe.
Back when we once lived in caves, women owned the fire. We were the ones who remained in the cave, kept the fire going, took care of the children, cooked the food, and kept the tribe together. Having a stronger physique, The male role was to hunt, provide food, and protect the tribe from predators. Men earned their way into the fire by doing a good job of feeding us and keeping us safe.
That’s why Our primary role as women is to raise a happy, safe family. When our marriages end, we women judge ourselves harshly, regardless of who caused it, because no matter how liberated and sophisticated we are, we’re stuck with those primal instincts.
Further to a divorce, Many women will drown themselves with negative thoughts keeping them stuck with their superficial nonsense, where They decide that it would be impossible for them to have a better life, and that they would never find a better significant other Which is far from reality. But what if they actually understood that the reason they are not finding the right partner is themselves?! What if they actually don’t know how should the right partner be? Have you ever thought about the fact that you keep having the same problems with your partners to the point that you started generalizing it to all men?
Further to a divorce, Many women will drown themselves with negative thoughts keeping them stuck with their superficial nonsense, where They decide that it would be impossible for them to have a better life, and that they would never find a better significant other Which is far from reality. But what if they actually understood that the reason they are not finding the right partner is themselves?! What if they actually don’t know how should the right partner be? Have you ever thought about the fact that you keep having the same problems with your partners to the point that you started generalizing it to all men?
Overcoming divorce
The period that comes After a divorce is very challenging and overwhelming in a woman’s life. It’s an emotional roller coaster that no one wants to ride alone. Not to forget that It is also hard to adjust to being single again, after being habituated to the couple life for a while.
When a marriage falls apart, you are not dealing with the stress of the divorce process only, as you are left with emotional turmoil and heavy heartaches preventing you from feeling like you can stand on your own, even though that’s essentially what you’re being forced to do. But How can you bounce back from divorce and find your independence again after being attached and dependent on the partnership of marriage?
The fears that you’ll face after divorce
We cannot deny the fact that when we are deep in the throes of grief, everything is heightened. Being Our emotions, our fears or our feelings of loneliness, we exaggerate in understanding and expressing the right story. Yet When we have spent a good portion of our life building memories with a significant other, and we suddenly break this picture’s frame, Our minds and hearts get BRUTALLY scared and enter into a deep trauma state unconsciously. But what’s scary about being alone, that you prefer to sadly have a toxic relationship with the wrong partner instead?
Aren’t you afraid of wasting your life trying to please and serve others instead of doing what makes you fulfilled and happy? If you are afraid of dying alone, don’t you know that eventually, being in a couple or not, you are going to die alone? And let’s say you won’t, what if your partner dies first? You won’t be afraid by then?
Now what about the fear of you not having another way to have food and shelter that is keeping you stuck in this prison that is making your stomach full? Don’t You know that you are a smart woman and that you will figure most things out, just like you’re already doing for your home? Financially, it might take longer for a woman to rebuild and re-establish herself and her career, All while juggling the little people, dealing with the role of a solo parent, and having a life. Yet Not only is divorce a financial rebuild, but it’s also a confidence do-over. To be confidently independent after divorce is a hugely important feeling that you have to start learning again! Especially if you want to strengthen both your self-esteem and your inner power. As it is the period in which you restart building the new identity you want to be known for, while living it freely.
Who are you now? You may wonder after divorce, as Your family, friends, and the world look different now. You might feel that people are judging you, pitying you, blaming you or trying to teach you how you should be living, now that you are labeled as a divorced woman. Yet remember, whatever you think people are doing isn’t but a reflection of you judging yourself because of the way you were conditioned and raised. And you might actually face some illiterates judging you, yet remember, you have nothing to prove! As you are a wonderful being who deserves to have an amazing life, just like everyone else. Appreciate your loneliness enough to take the opportunity and customize the life you always dreamt of having! Love yourself and be patient. Accept that you are human and it is a natural feeling to fear being alone after a divorce. But Understand that what you are really afraid of is the illusion of the u.
Trust me, Fate will surely give you another chance, just like it did and it has always been doing! Smile at the new day, breathe deeply, and feel free to move on to the next level!