THE 3 STEPS FORMULA TO PRESERVE YOUR IDENTITY AFTER MARRIAGE
Batoul Khalifeh 
2022-09-19 🗀 Motherhood, 12 minutes
“God created each of us as unique individuals so we shouldn’t lose who we are once we are joined in marriage. There is a way for two people to come together without losing their own identity.” Psalm 139:13-16
Love is one of the most beautiful and amazing things one can ever experience, and it never fails to make you feel remarkable. The feeling of someone loving you back, just the way you do is a different high altogether. The thought of spending your life with the one you love is enough to make you feel safe and complete. But loving someone with your all, and gradually losing your identity in the process is not really a fair bargain? Is it?
Preserve Your Identity After Marriage!
So, if you want to Love someone with your all, do it, just maintain your own identity in the process. Help them and support them, but remember to do the same for yourself as well. Love can never mean losing yourself to make someone happy while sustaining a relationship.
What is the influence of marriage on women?
Let me be clear: Marriage can damper a woman’s sense of identity. I’ve known plenty of women who have become so absorbed by wifely duties, that they put their own dreams on hold. I’ve seen women crushed by an overbearing husband. I’ve witnessed women bow to social expectations of what it means to be a wife.
Every woman has the right to lead a life of her choosing, free from societal pressures and expectations. The decision to get married or stay single should be entirely up to her, guided by her own desires and aspirations. It is crucial to remember that prioritizing one’s own happiness and well-being is essential, regardless of relationship status. Consider the following key points:
- Autonomy and Choice: Women have the right to make decisions that align with their own values and desires, without feeling obligated to conform to societal norms or expectations.
Self-Care and Self-Expression: It is important to prioritize self-care and ensure personal needs are met, even within a committed relationship. This includes nurturing one’s hobbies, expressing opinions, and maintaining individual likes and dislikes. - Healthy Boundaries: Establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries is vital. It is essential to communicate needs and expectations openly, ensuring that personal autonomy and values are respected and honored.
- Emotional Well-being: Women should prioritize their emotional well-being, recognizing that their happiness and fulfillment are significant factors in any relationship. Taking care of one’s own mental and emotional health should be non-negotiable.
- Mutual Respect and Support: In healthy relationships, partners should respect and support each other’s individuality, understanding that compromising personal needs and aspirations should not be a requirement.
By embracing individuality, setting boundaries, and prioritizing self-care, women can lead fulfilling lives and build relationships that honor their autonomy and happiness. Remember, your needs, opinions, and personal pursuits matter, and should never be compromised.
Stop considering yourself selfish whenever you have to Put yourself first! Because giving yourself away all of the time for your relationship will only end up making you feel unhappy and empty in the long run. Take a moment and just ask yourself, how would you build a happy relationship if you can’t even make your own self happy?
Unfortunately, many women lose their identities as soon as they get in a relationship, engaged or married. The majority of girls have dreams of getting married and raising a family because this is what women are taught to seek at an early age. When a woman achieves this goal, she loses her identity due to the many roles that she is now forced to play.
Unfortunately, many women lose their identities as soon as they get in a relationship, engaged or married. The majority of girls have dreams of getting married and raising a family because this is what women are taught to seek at an early age. When a woman achieves this goal, she loses her identity due to the many roles that she is now forced to play.
Once married, a woman is expected to be a mother, a nurturer, a housekeeper, a teacher, a doctor, a cook, a chauffeur, and increasingly, a career woman. Women are forced to carry out these roles because of society’s traditional view of the roles, women should play. That’s why young women are pressured to follow their mother’s footsteps. Because a woman’s life revolves around her children and husband, her responsibilities are never far from thought. Consequently, women lose their identities because they are so caught up in being the best wife and mother, that they no longer have time to pursue their own desires.
Briefly, it’s true that Women are imprisoned by the many roles they have to play, but strangely this matter was naturally self-imposed. Yet this torture t wouldn’t be self-imposed if it weren’t for society’s pressure on women to fit into the traditional female mold. That’s why we see that a woman who is married and has children eventually becomes an empty and hollow image of a mother and a wife instead of being the inspiring person she always dreamt to be.
Don’t get me wrong, marriage could have a positive influence on a woman’s identity as long as she maintains her sense of individuality. When fusing your lives together, you must be careful as your individuality doesn’t morph right into your husband. We hang on to who we are as individuals through our hobbies, our friendships, our finances, and our personalities. Yet doesn’t this lead to conflicts in our union sometimes?
A partnership in marriage should not equate to the loss of either one of us as individuals!
Married women have great potentials of being strong and independent! Yet To maintain their identities and individualities, they should take care of themselves as well as their interests.
Start making time for yourself by doing the things you are passionate about. Whether it’s a hobby, or something as simple as a cup of coffee whilst staring into space, it’s important to put it down on the priority list so that it gets done. Pushing our own needs away to get other jobs done is not a sustainable proposition as it will eventually lead to lots of anger towards the other jobs.
Start making time for yourself by doing the things you are passionate about. Whether it’s a hobby, or something as simple as a cup of coffee whilst staring into space, it’s important to put it down on the priority list so that it gets done. Pushing our own needs away to get other jobs done is not a sustainable proposition as it will eventually lead to lots of anger towards the other jobs.
Secondly, speak up and start defending yourself by letting people know when something is bothering you. Many times, family, friends, or colleagues may expect us to do things or behave in a certain way that is totally against the way we like to function.
Lastly, give yourself a break and Stop being that perfectionist who’s constantly too hard on herself, life is too short to be spending it this way!
Lastly, give yourself a break and Stop being that perfectionist who’s constantly too hard on herself, life is too short to be spending it this way!
So, here we go; the simple formula to hold onto who you really are – Love yourself, make time for what you love to do, always stand up for what you want and just take it easy on yourself 😉