WOMEN BUILD WOMEN-HATRED COMMUNITIES
Batoul Khalifeh 
2022-09-06 🗀 Motherhood, 15 minutes
Have you ever sacrificed yourself for someone? It’s often said that self-sacrifice for love demands that we favor something or someone at the expense of ourselves . However, loving should never, under any circumstance, be synonymous with loss, as loving isn’t but a phenomenon of genuine gain!
We tend to heroitize those who are capable of giving up on what’s important for the construction of their self-esteem and future, to support and nurture the empowering of others’ self-esteem and future. . Giving up on their studies to get married and raise children, never saying no to avoid upsetting others,, leaving their country and family to be next to their partner, abandoning their comfortable lifestyle to carry out humanitarian work… There are multiple examples.
We tend to heroitize those who are capable of giving up on what’s important for the construction of their self-esteem and future, to support and nurture the empowering of others’ self-esteem and future. . Giving up on their studies to get married and raise children, never saying no to avoid upsetting others,, leaving their country and family to be next to their partner, abandoning their comfortable lifestyle to carry out humanitarian work… There are multiple examples.
From a psychological point of view, we know that empathizing and contributing to a higher cause is one of the spiritual needs of human beings to feel better and valuable. However, this doesn’t always result in feelings of well-being or satisfaction. In fact, while it’s quite possible that at a given moment you might see a meaning and a purpose in your actions, there’ll always come a time when you start experiencing a certain sense of loss, lack, and even regret.
The question is; Why Are Women the Chief Sacrifice Officers In Our Society? Do we condition girls and women to be caring responsibly for this attitude? Aren’t there other ways to let people in our lives know that we care about them?
Making sacrifices for their loved ones seems to be a competitive sport for women across the world!
Making sacrifices for their loved ones seems to be a competitive sport for women across the world!
We, women, are raised to burn like lamps to keep others warm. We are raised and taught to love and take care of everyone except one person – that’s our own self!
All through ancient, medieval, and modern times, society has eternalized the rhetoric of selflessness to control women’s bodies and minds. The female ego has been vilified as being synonymous with toxic femininity – effectively incepting a guilty conscience in women. where we are embroiled in self-doubt whenever we get self-serving thoughts, or we simply attract others’ judgmental attention. Moreover, the
All through ancient, medieval, and modern times, society has eternalized the rhetoric of selflessness to control women’s bodies and minds. The female ego has been vilified as being synonymous with toxic femininity – effectively incepting a guilty conscience in women. where we are embroiled in self-doubt whenever we get self-serving thoughts, or we simply attract others’ judgmental attention. Moreover, the
patriarchy has perpetuated the myth that self-effacement is femininity’s most admired virtues.
What is it with women and not feeling the value of doing something for themselves?! Why do women lack this sense of self-love and have no reason to prioritize themselves?!! Until when will women keep on sacrificing their own wishes, careers, and freedoms?!
We naturally see women keeping their partners’ and families’ wishes as a top priority. Mothers, wives, sisters, daughters, aunts, all have this notion that sacrificing something for someone you love is the ultimate way to let them know you care for them. That you place their demands and well-being over everything else. It is not about that last roti though, women are willing to turn into sacrificial lambs on every occasion in their life. They give up careers to rear children, they stop wearing certain kinds of clothes to appease their husbands, and they change their lifestyle to keep their in-laws happy. And the saddest thing about that, is the fact that women take pride and compete in their ability to sacrifice.
Has that got something to do with the way we are brought up? For how much longer are we going to
keep on conditioning our girls to be caregivers and people-pleasers? When are we going to stop teaching them to put their needs below that of everyone else and start valuing themselves the way they deserve?
keep on conditioning our girls to be caregivers and people-pleasers? When are we going to stop teaching them to put their needs below that of everyone else and start valuing themselves the way they deserve?
Unfortunately Women still judge other women who put themselves first and judge them as self-centered. They deem women who don’t give up their careers to embrace motherhood, or “adjust” accordingly in their matrimonial homes as selfish. Yet as studies show, kids learn from the examples they see and confront in their lives. This is why the real question we can ask here is, should a woman be considered as a self-centered bad person, if she acts like the strong role model she has to be, in front of her children? Aren’t those people-pleasers women, teaching their kids on having a low self-esteem, by acting the way they do and not prioritizing themselves in the correct topics?
It is heart-breaking how we, women, are conditioned to joyfully lose ourselves in being someone’s wife, someone’s mother, or someone’s daughter. We are raised to be natural caregivers, who forget themselves to be there for others.
It is heart-breaking how we, women, are conditioned to joyfully lose ourselves in being someone’s wife, someone’s mother, or someone’s daughter. We are raised to be natural caregivers, who forget themselves to be there for others.
Toxicity in how our community raises females
To better notice the deep roots of toxicity in how our community raises us,Throughout our lives, we sacrifice ourselves for others, without anyone asking us for it, with the hope that one day our sacrifices will be at least recognized. Without being bothered about our own existence, we keep trying to please people. We keep begging for their attention at the expense of our own self-respect and pride. And, sadly, when others do what’s best for them, we indulge in regrets and start blaming them for being selfish, narcissistic, careless human beings.
Truly, loving yourself isn’t an easy task, especially if you don’t have an internal reason to do it. !
That’s why Self-love is a radical protest. Because When we honor ourselves and our needs, we take responsibility for our own lives. We reclaim what’s ours and establish a framework to thrive. Is self-love selfish? Yes. But that’s okay. We need to reclaim selfishness and redefine it for ourselves to protect our self-worth in a society that was strangely raised and built by women who weirdly and relentlessly made it misogynistic.